A child is a gift and a trust from Allah to the parents. The Qur'an captures the believer's most beautiful prayer to his Lord in the sentence "Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and our offspring the comfort of our eyes" (Al-Furqan 25:74). This sermon examines the responsibilities of parents toward children — from giving a beautiful name to religious education, from showing love to dealing fairly, from feeding them lawful food to taking Luqman's counsel as a model — with verses, traditions, and lived examples from the life of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
A Child Is a Trust from Allah
Allah reminds us that children are a blessing for the believer:
وَٱللَّهُ جَعَلَ لَكُم مِّنۡ أَنفُسِكُمۡ أَزۡوَٰجٗا وَجَعَلَ لَكُم مِّنۡ أَزۡوَٰجِكُم بَنِينَ وَحَفَدَةٗ وَرَزَقَكُم مِّنَ ٱلطَّيِّبَٰتِۚ أَفَبِٱلۡبَٰطِلِ يُؤۡمِنُونَ وَبِنِعۡمَتِ ٱللَّهِ هُمۡ يَكۡفُرُونَ
— Surah An-Nahl 16:72Allah has made for you from yourselves spouses, and has made from your spouses sons and grandchildren, and has provided you with the good things. Then in falsehood do they believe, and the favour of Allah do they deny?
A child is not our property — he is a trust from Allah given to us. The concept of amanah demands responsibility: protection, education, guidance, and care. Allah also clearly states how this trust is to be safeguarded:
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ قُوٓاْ أَنفُسَكُمۡ وَأَهۡلِيكُمۡ نَارٗا وَقُودُهَا ٱلنَّاسُ وَٱلۡحِجَارَةُ
— Surah At-Tahrim 66:6O you who believe! Guard yourselves and your families against a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.
The "guarding" commanded in this verse extends beyond physical wellbeing to the child's natural disposition (fitrah), faith, and character. To feed a child lawful food while depriving him of religious upbringing is to return only half of the trust to Allah.
Giving a Good Name
The first right of the child over his parents begins with a good name:
إِنَّ مِنْ حَقِّ الْوَلَدِ عَلَى الْوَالِدِ أَنْ يُحْسِنَ اسْمَهُ وَأَنْ يُحْسِنَ أَدَبَهُ
— Sunan Abu Dawud, Adab, no. 4948Among the rights of a child upon his parents is that he be given a good name and a good upbringing.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to change names. When Abdullah ibn Qurad al-Azdi came to the Prophet and was asked, "What is your name?" he replied, "Shaytan ibn Qurad." The Prophet immediately said, "You are Abdullah ibn Qurad," and renamed him. Names that carry an unfortunate association should not remain on a child throughout his life.
Raising the Child with Love and Tenderness
The Prophet (peace be upon him) loved his grandsons Hasan and Husayn dearly and said, "They are my two sweet basils in this world." One day, while he was kissing his grandson, the Companion Aqra' ibn Habis was astonished and said, "I have ten children — I have not kissed any of them." The Prophet's reply summed up the entire discipline of raising children in a single line:
مَنْ لَا يَرْحَمُ لَا يُرْحَمُ
— Sahih al-Bukhari, Adab, no. 5997Whoever does not show mercy will not receive mercy.
Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) relates: "A Bedouin came to the Prophet and said, 'Do you kiss your children? We do not kiss ours.' The Prophet replied: 'Allah has removed mercy from your heart — what can I do for you?'" (Sahih al-Bukhari, Adab, no. 5998)
The Prophet would greet children he passed in the street with the salaam. Even during the prayer he remained attentive to a crying child: "I rise for prayer intending to make it long, and when I hear the crying of a child behind me I shorten it, lest I cause the mother distress." (Sahih al-Bukhari, Adhan, no. 707) That a Prophet would shorten his own prayer for the sake of a mother's worry is a striking testimony to his tenderness toward children.
Equal Treatment Among Children
The Prophet stood firmly against discrimination among children in the incident of Nu'man ibn Bashir. Nu'man's father had given him a gift; his mother insisted that the Prophet be made witness, otherwise she would not approve. When his father took Nu'man to the Prophet and explained, the Prophet asked: "Have you done the same for all your children?" The father said, "No." The Prophet replied: "Fear Allah, and deal justly among your children. Do not call me as a witness — I do not witness injustice." (Sahih al-Bukhari, Gifts, no. 2587)
This incident is a warning against one of the most hidden dangers in raising children — planting the seed of jealousy and resentment. The child who is treated unequally turns away not from his parents so much as from his siblings; rivalry, rather than love, takes root in the household. The Prophet said: "May Allah have great mercy on the parent who helps his child to treat him well." (al-Tabarani)
The Religious Upbringing of the Child
The Prophet's fitrah hadith plainly explains why religious upbringing is solely the duty of the parents:
كُلُّ مَوْلُودٍ يُولَدُ عَلَى الْفِطْرَةِ، فَأَبَوَاهُ يُهَوِّدَانِهِ أَوْ يُنَصِّرَانِهِ أَوْ يُمَجِّسَانِهِ
— Sahih al-Bukhari, Funerals, no. 1358Every newborn is born upon the natural disposition (fitrah); it is then his parents who make him a Jew, a Christian, or a Magian.
This hadith declares that the child's starting state in faith is Islam, and that it is the environment — primarily the parents — that draws him away from that disposition. When the parents neglect this duty, the proverb finds its proof: "If the valley is left empty, the jackal will be its governor."
The Qur'an's most extensive model for raising children comes in Surah Luqman. Luqman addresses his son with this counsel:
يَٰبُنَيَّ لَا تُشۡرِكۡ بِٱللَّهِۖ إِنَّ ٱلشِّرۡكَ لَظُلۡمٌ عَظِيمٞ
— Surah Luqman 31:13O my dear son! Do not associate any partners with Allah; indeed, shirk is a tremendous injustice.
He proceeds to list the essential moral principles one by one: prayer, enjoining good, patience, avoiding arrogance, and moderating one's gait and voice:
يَٰبُنَيَّ أَقِمِ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَأۡمُرۡ بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِ وَٱنۡهَ عَنِ ٱلۡمُنكَرِ وَٱصۡبِرۡ عَلَىٰ مَآ أَصَابَكَۖ إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ مِنۡ عَزۡمِ ٱلۡأُمُورِ
— Surah Luqman 31:17O my dear son! Establish prayer, enjoin what is good, forbid what is evil, and bear patiently whatever befalls you. Indeed, these are matters worthy of resolve.
The secret of raising children appears in this very address: Luqman does not call his son "O so-and-so!" but "my dear son." A child educated with the language of love, not the language of authority, becomes open to advice.
Feeding with Lawful Food
What feeds the body shapes the purity of the heart. The Prophet's lesson to his grandson illustrates this concern: while sitting beside dates gathered as charity for the poor, Hasan reached for a date and put it in his mouth. The Prophet looked at him sharply. The little Hasan understood and removed it. The Prophet said: "My dear child, do you not know that the family of Muhammad does not eat from charity?" (Sahih al-Bukhari, Zakat, no. 1491). If even the Prophet's grandson was not permitted a single date of charity, parents have all the more reason to examine what they feed their children.
Allah says:
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ كُلُواْ مِن طَيِّبَٰتِ مَا رَزَقۡنَٰكُمۡ وَٱشۡكُرُواْ لِلَّهِ إِن كُنتُمۡ إِيَّاهُ تَعۡبُدُونَ
— Surah Al-Baqarah 2:172O you who believe! Eat of the wholesome things We have provided for you, and be grateful to Allah, if it is indeed Him you worship.
Stories from the Tradition
Luqman's Counsel to His Son (The Qur'an's Parenting Manual)
The Qur'an offers its most detailed picture of raising a child in Surah Luqman. Luqman is introduced as a man of wisdom, and the counsels he gives his son — to shun shirk, to honour parents, to establish prayer, to enjoin good, to be patient, to avoid arrogance, and to observe the manners of gait and voice (Luqman 31:13-19) — form a complete programme for a child's moral upbringing. Every one of these counsels opens with the address "my dear son" — affection is the only legitimate vehicle of education. Luqman does not threaten his son, does not shut him down, does not tire him with unbearable commands; he educates him with gentle, wisdom-filled sentences.
Ali ibn Abi Talib Raising His Sons
Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) raised his sons Hasan and Husayn under his own discipline. One day he said to the little Hasan: "My dear son, teach me seven things for my heart that may make you more precious to Allah" — sitting with the poor, learning from a scholar, maintaining the bond of kinship, knowing when to be silent, speaking truth, laughing little, and possessing forbearance. When Hasan grew older, he would insist on accompanying his grandfather on the way to prayer, and after prayer would memorise the hadiths spoken. Ali succeeded in making his sons love the Qur'an before he made them learn it. Teaching a child the Qur'an without first making him love it is like planting a tree without water.
A'isha and the Poor Woman with Two Daughters
A'isha (may Allah be pleased with her) relates: "A poor woman came to me one day with two little daughters on her back. I gave her three dates. She gave each child a date and lifted the last to her own mouth — but the children wanted that one too. She broke that date in half and gave each child a piece. I was struck by her act and told the Prophet. He said: 'On account of this woman's compassion for her children, Allah has made Paradise binding upon her.'" (Sahih Muslim, al-Birr, no. 2630) This account shows the rank that tenderness toward a child holds before Allah — half of a date can be the price of Paradise.
The Prophet's Mercy Toward the Children of Even Polytheists
In one battle, children of the polytheists were caught between the two sides and killed. When the Prophet heard, he was deeply saddened. The Companions said, "O Messenger of Allah, why do you grieve? Are these not the children of polytheists?" He replied: "Even if they are the children of polytheists, they are innocent. Beware — do not kill children! Every soul is created upon the natural disposition (fitrah)." Compassion for a child is the purest human feeling, knowing no boundary of religion, race, or lineage — and the Prophet lived it in its highest form.
The Glad Tiding and the Responsibility of Parents
The Prophet says:
مَا نَحَلَ وَالِدٌ وَلَدًا مِنْ نَحْلٍ أَفْضَلَ مِنْ أَدَبٍ حَسَنٍ
— Sunan al-Tirmidhi, al-Birr, no. 1952No parent has bestowed upon his child a gift greater than good upbringing.
Especially regarding daughters, the Prophet gave this remarkable glad tiding: "Whoever raises three daughters, disciplines them well, marries them off, and does good to them, Paradise is his." (Sunan Abu Dawud, Adab) In a culture where the people of Jahiliyyah had buried infant daughters alive, declaring that raising a daughter is a direct door to Paradise is among the clearest examples of the moral revolution our religion brought.
Putting Raising Children Into Practice With VAAZ
The 99 Beautiful Names of Allah collection in the VAAZ app presents Allah's names Ar-Rahman (the All-Merciful), Ar-Rahim (the Especially Merciful), and Al-Wadud (the Loving) — these names are the divine model for raising children. For the guidance, character, and lawful sustenance of your child, add to your daily dhikr the supplication "Our Lord, grant us…" (Al-Furqan 25:74) from the supplication archive. For deeper context, see the Sermon on the Family and the Sermon on the Sacred Trust.
Our children are a gift and a trust from Allah. We must show them love, treat them equally, give them religious upbringing, feed them lawful food, and prepare them — by their good — to be a means by which we are remembered with prayer after our death. The closing prayer of Surah Al-Furqan summarises the believer's most beautiful aspiration for his child:
رَبَّنَا هَبۡ لَنَا مِنۡ أَزۡوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعۡيُنٖ وَٱجۡعَلۡنَا لِلۡمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامٗا
— Surah Al-Furqan 25:74Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and our offspring the comfort of our eyes, and make us an example for the righteous.
References
- The Noble Qur'an, Surah An-Nahl 16:72.
- The Noble Qur'an, Surah At-Tahrim 66:6.
- The Noble Qur'an, Surah Luqman 31:13-19.
- The Noble Qur'an, Surah Al-Baqarah 2:172.
- The Noble Qur'an, Surah Al-Furqan 25:74.
- Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Funerals, hadith no. 1358 (Every child is born upon the fitrah).
- Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Adab, hadith nos. 5997 and 5998 (Kissing children and showing mercy).
- Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Gifts, hadith no. 2587 (The incident of Nu'man ibn Bashir).
- Sahih Muslim, Book of al-Birr, hadith no. 2630 (The poor woman and the two daughters).
- Sunan Abu Dawud, Book of Adab, hadith no. 4948 (A good name and good upbringing).